It's ok when...

...you talk about someone in a not so nice way as long as you say "bless their heart" somewhere in the sentence. This is an important lesson to learn if you are going to successfully adapt to living in the south. I say that for two reasons. 1. You can talk about someone without offending anyone and 2. you can know when someone is talking about you in an offensive way. In my opinion it was more important to know when I was being talked about!

I have been doing informal research in the last two weeks about this phrase. I am told by using this phrase you have free reign to say whatever you want about a person and it is OK.  Urban dictionary list three definitions for this phrase and they coincide very well with what I found in my research (mostly).  1: phrase used by Southern women to excuse themselves for speaking ill of someone else. 2: an expression of sympathy or pity. 3: a polite way to respond to an ignoramus, particularly male, who showers upon you flattering but unwanted compliments. They even list examples for us!

1: "She's as ugly as a mud-fence, bless her heart."
2: "Well, bless your heart, that must have been terrible!"
3: drunk fella: "I think you're beautiful! Even if you were ugly, I'd STILL think you were beautiful!"
recipient: "...bless your heart."

 

My research would suggest that it is both men and women who use the phrase, not just women as the Internet says. And to think I believed everything I read on the Internet! Also, since #3 is situational and I apparently just don't have many friends who have run into this form of the phrase because it never came up but I can see how it fits in that situation as well.

There are critics who are against using this phrase. They call the disease BHHS, bless her heart syndrome, and believe it can only be used when talking negatively about someone. These critics are obviously not from the south, bless their hearts, or they would understand that it isn't just a negative phrase used to soften an insult.

*We have to interrupt your regularly scheduled blog for an important announcement* I just took a work orientated phone call and the person on the other line dropped the BHHS line and I about spit out my coffee. Would have been a waste of good coffee for sure! Sorry for my random Friday ramblings. It has been a long week and my brainwaves aren't connecting all the dots, bless my heart. (sorry i couldn't resist)

OK back on track now. This is a true southernism and I actually enjoy hearing it. People in the south pride themselves on being polite and welcoming and while this phrase could be used in a very mean spirited fashion, I am lucky enough to know people who use with the best intentions at heart.

 

For a bit of humor today

A little bit more humor

Have a great 4th of July!